Spam/scam emails are weird

If you have an email account then the chances are high that you’ve received a spam or scam email.  Whether it’s an enticing offer to enlarge your penis (go for it girls!) or there is an African prince who’s just desperate to give you millions of dollars but needs your account details first, everyone has encountered spam and scam emails.

This is a mostly solved problem nowadays, email spam filters are better than ever and we only rarely see this junk.

But, in recent times, I have received some very strange spam/scam emails that I’d like to share.  Since I’m a grizzled old internet veteran, I remember when AOL was popular, Yahoo was the search king and Google weren’t an evil mega corporation trying to extract every last iota of information out of us, I find these emails far funnier than frightening or appealing.

Let’s begin with…

Need a Hitman?

On the upside they can “eliminate” the Hitman after the job is done, it’s the little details that matter.

need-a-hitman-scam-email

You got hacked son!

I think this one is trying to bore me into submission but it is so full of grammar and comprehension mistakes that it’s difficult to even make it to the end.

As a side note, I received this one, with some variations, numerous times over the course of a few weeks, all with different bitcoin wallet ids so I wonder if the L33t Hax0rz were fighting it out over who should watch me through the webcam I don’t have.

hacked-router-all

Short, sweet and definitely not a scam

Not strictly an email but still worth including, this one is in German and was sent through the Quoll Writer website as a “complaint” which is always nice.  I’m pretty sure you can work out what it’s trying to say.

complaint-sex-in-city

Big Pharma is hiding the truth!  Rather than making loads of money…

This one is appealing to the conspiracy minded.  The thing I find amusing about it is that if there really was some money to be made in CBD oils then Big Pharma would be making money out it.  They are Big Pharma after all, who do you think tells the lawmakers what to do talks to the lawmakers?

big-pharma

Free cosmetics!  I’m convinced, no wait, reverse that

Get your cosmetics for nothing and your clicks for free…

free-cosmetics

And finally, a real lingerie model

Yeah, not clicking that.

lingerie-model

What’s the funniest/weirdest spam email you’ve received?

Authors note:

Link to the featured image.

 

 

 

 

 

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